Technnologizzy
Old Joke Keeps Getting Funnier, Scientists Baffled
CHICAGO, IL.— Humorologists at The University Of Chicago, where fun goes to die, are currently wrestling with what appears to be an old joke that continues to get funnier with each and every telling. "The joke clearly violates the law of conservation of humor, which states that the funniness of a joke is inversely proportional to the number of times it is told," said Jojo Titterbags, professor of modern jocularities. "We may very well be looking at the Higgs boson of jokes, or as we humorologists call it, the Higglesworth banoonza."
Jun 23, 2009, 04:04
Tobacco Powered Car Smokes Competition
Researchers at North Carolina State University this week unveiled the first tobacco powered car. Acting Professor of Advanced Scientific Agriculture Random Hudson and his students have nicknamed the prototype "Puffy" and say the car is ready for mass production as soon as it gets federal approval. The team developed a smooth, low tar, slow burning blend of American tobacco perfect for use in any gas powered vehicle.
Jun 14, 2009, 03:21
Glossy News Seeks a Full-Time Editor
Become an editor for a satirical magazine - One of the oldest, most aggressively publishing satirical rags on the web is putting it all out on the line, begging unabashadly in attempts to find an editor to help run this show on the odd days when I'm just too busy paying attention to my children or otherwise attending to life at large. would you be interested and/or capable of becoming the new de facto editor of Glossy News?
Jun 5, 2009, 19:54
Scientific Study Finds Chickens Stressed as Fuck
A vague unnamed possibly scientific report, has stated that, whether battery or free range, chickens are all on edge, and, if only they had an opposable thumb they'd be heading into a bank with a mask and a shot gun. The report further stated that apparently some hairy bloke 10 times the size of you, coming and nicking your babies every day is a stressful experience.
Jun 4, 2009, 05:11
Pravda Delights Crackpots w/ Moon Hoax "Proof"
Russia’s best-selling state propaganda gutter press tabloid news sheet goes into shit-raking mode this morning by stating there’s something very wrong with all the various US space flights to the Moon. The legendary space missions are still shrouded in controversy and Mankind, to this day, has a number of valid reasons to cast doubt on the miracle of inter-planetary flights.
May 30, 2009, 01:28
Wind Farms Cause Goat Insomnia Epidemic
The chief veterinarian officer for Taiwan’s offshore islands’ Department of Agriculture, Foods, Fisheries & Goats, Dr. Pak Lunch, is investigating reports that a large number of the domesticated species of Capra may have died of exhaustion attributed to the aggravating 24/7 racket from a wind farm adjacent to their grazing lands.
May 26, 2009, 17:09
Hot Girl's Disappointing Facebook Profile Doesn't Show Any Skin
LARAMIE, WY - A group of University of Wyoming juniors expressed catastrophic disappointment Wednesday when super-hot female student Jennifer Lavagnino, 20, created a Facebook profile with several hundred photographs, none of which contained any semblance of the incredibly sexy chemistry major’s exposed skin.
May 25, 2009, 19:57
Photo Waiver-Averse Parents Have Blurry Children
We've gone a long way, but apparently we haven't come a very long way, and these days, it would seem, the way that we've come has only gone as far as our own ability to attend a more-or-less public birthday party. It's fun, at least as far as it comes to us going to the parties, but I'm really starting to worry about my friends and the blurry/clear status of their faces.
May 23, 2009, 05:53
Fossil Lemur Looks Like Dubya
The pristine fossil remains of a 47-million-year-old lemur-like creature have been unveiled in the US. Its preservation is so intact it is possible to see the outline of its fur and even traces of its last meal – what appears to resemble a partly-digested McScrunt’s Chew n Spew Spam fritter. The fossil, nicknamed Titsy, is claimed to be a "missing link" between today's...
May 23, 2009, 03:25
Neoprene® Beer Cozy Promises Colder Beer
LOS FELICES, NM – Frequent beer consumer Tad Danyluk, 44, acquired a promising new leisure asset Sunday: a synthetic rubber sleeve to keep his beer cold. Longer. Community members gathered around the Danyluk garage around 1:00 PM to witness the unveiling of the new device, which proponents say will significantly increase the amount of time Danyluk can wield a beer without fear of environmental heat damaging its flavor.
May 17, 2009, 02:42
Archaeologists Prove Hobbits UK's First Soccer Houligans
Anthropologists, working alongside genetic scientists, have discovered further evidence that the Channel Island of Brecqhou’s ‘Hobbit’ skeletons are the progenitors of an evolutionary retarded species of human – the modern day ‘Chavs’. The one metre tall, 30kg brain-dead sub-human ‘Hobbits’ roamed the English Channel Island of Brecqhou perhaps up to 8,000 years ago.
May 15, 2009, 07:35
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