Health
Girlfriend Glitter - the Man Tag
Gentlemen, have you ever been involved with a significant female other? Did you ever feel trapped in the relationship without ever really understanding why? Did you find that once you were in that relationship, other women were turned off by the sight of you – the very women that, a mere week before would have been all over you like flies on mayonnaise? The answer is simple – you’d been tagged. Girlfriend glitter.
Nov 16, 2007, 17:32
Teens Having Less Sex (in the missionary position)
According to research conducted nationwide, conventional teen coitus is on the downturn. Not in favor of abstinence, but in favor of more exhausting, athletic and often dangerous positions. "The results are alarming," reported Ross Freiburg, staff researcher. "Doggy style and sixty-nine don't even have a good showing anymore.
Mar 12, 2007, 06:00
Americans Depressed Over "Fat" Stereotype Seek Solace in Cheesecake
Americans, long iconic heroes to ignorant third-worlders and lesser ethnics alike, have in recent decades been labeled as nothing more than lazy, overweight, couch-faring snobs by counterparts in Europe and Asia alike. This reputation may have exacerbated the problem as, increasingly, Americans are found seeking comfort and acceptance both from Big Mars as well as pints of double-fudge ice cream.
Feb 25, 2007, 15:45
Ball Cancer; Testing your Testes
Among the rarest of cancers comes cancer of the testes. Glossy News brings you these helpful tips to keeping your balls healthy. So here's your pointers. Sharpen your pencil and trim those scragglies, it's time to do some work!
Feb 3, 2007, 03:49
Placebonol Offers Miracle Cure(s)
This breakthrough drug boasts over a 30% cure rate across the board. The drug may be taken preventatively twice a day as a precaution against cancer, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, bowel irregularity, male pattern baldness and weeping genital sores, just to name a few.
Feb 1, 2007, 06:00
FDA Warns of Turkey Poisoning
It feels like it's been a good fifty years of non-stop turkey gobbling, and I do believe I've got me a wicked case of that turkey poisoning the FDA's been warning about. Me and Mr. ThanksTurkey both weighed in at twenty-five pounds a week ago, but he's down to about zero and I'm up to maybe a hundred and a half. Talk about us both being sleepy!
Nov 28, 2006, 12:12
Man Sick of Hearing About Healing Properties of Humor/Laughter
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| Well-known healers from a by-gone age: silly yet still relevant |
Darren Hagel of Missouri, WI, wants the world to know that he is sick of seeing or reading news items about the healing powers of humor and laughter.
Apr 4, 2006, 06:05
Medical Miracle: Calorie Reduction and Exercise Lead to Weight Loss
In news celebrated by medical practitioners across the nation but likely to be found disturbing to the country's legion of celebrity weight-loss gurus, it has been announced that Corporate Web Designer Mark Rutherford has lost 27 pounds over 12 months by simply cutting his calorie consumption and increasing his daily exercise routine. Mr. Rutherford decided to follow this unorthodox diet after ballooning from 180 pounds to 229 pounds within just 9 months of graduating from college and adopting the sedentary work schedule of the corporate environment.
Feb 6, 2006, 14:15
Die Fluffy Die
Fluffy, a three year old Pomeranian with a congenital heart condition, has been on life support at the Green Hills Animal Hospital for sixteen days, but some are questioning how much longer the dog’s life should be artificially supported. End of life care for animals is addressed in this most compelling story.
Dec 22, 2005, 10:44
"Human Noodle Soup" May Help Birds Survive Avian Flu
Lancaster, Ca.- When humans get the flu they often turn to good old chicken soup to find relief, but to date there has been little to offer birds to alleviate their suffering. As you are probably aware, a bird flu epidemic is in full swing and has killed millions and continues to kill millions of our feathered friends. Scientists have been experimenting with vaccines and medicines to help treat and prevent bird flu, but so far nothing looks promising.
One local veterinary research company, however, has found success with a very unusual yet at the same time logical remedy- human noodle soup. Dr. Kazslo Kovacs of the Lancaster based Avian Solutions has been doing research with the soup for several months now and is excited about the results.
Nov 10, 2005, 10:26
New Super-Potency Pill, Inflexa, Unleashed
Does your man like Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis? If so, then he is one big poosay, because he obviously isn’t man enough to take the latest and greatest in ED medications, Inflexa. Inflexa, another Pfizer product, combines the best of rabbit staying power with the sturdiness of hardened steel. Finally, unlike other fake medications such as Enzyte, Inflexa includes a secret ingredient that makes erections up to 200% larger.
Jun 6, 2005, 01:01
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