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Couple Admits Enjoying Carrot Top Commercials
By Nick Ulmer
Nov 12, 2003, 07:26
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Cute & quircky? Please! The only thing that could make this asshole look better is a bulls-eye on his forehead.
Bill and Carol Adams, of North Dakota, recently admitted during a dinner party that they enjoy TV commercials by “that red-headed phone-commercial guy.” Silence directly followed the comment, followed by insincere lies and forced smiles. “Um, yeah, they're pretty good…I guess,” said one guest. Another guest tried frantically to change the subject.

"Say, did you guys see Sex and the City last week?” she asked, unsuccessfully. The couple went on, further alienating everyone at the table. “He’s so cute,” Carol said. “Bill and I just love him. I heard he’s coming to town to do stand-up in December. Hey, we should all go!”

Half-smiles turned to shock, and several guests were rendered speechless. John, the co-host, threw down his bread and began, “Are you fu…” as his wife, Gail, grabbed his knee before his outburst was vocalized. She “took one for the team” and spilled a glass of red wine on the linen table cloth, switching the conversation to stain removal methods.

“I had to do something,” Gail said. “John would’ve blown up. He truly cannot stand those commercials. Once, he threw an empty beer can at the TV and screamed, ‘I will NOT dial down the friggin’ center, you f**king mutant!’”

Linda commented on the couple's confession. “I couldn’t believe they openly admitted to it. I mean, not that I think many people secretly like those stupid commercials, but to blurt it out at a dinner party….”

John, still agitated, expressed the reasoning behind his annoyance. “I can’t help but think that somewhere there’s a foreign couple sitting in an American hotel, watching TV and being subjected to this jackass. Then they come to the conclusion that he's one of America’s most beloved television personalities. It can't go on. You know, I’m not just thinking about myself here."

As for Bill and Carol, John was more forgiving. "We decided not to hold it against them. I’ve always adhered to that ‘to each is own’ concept. Hell, I’ve even got a friend who likes Ben Affleck.”


This article available for reprint/syndication.

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