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Canadian Winners "Still Probably Losers" says DreamWorks
By Brian K. White
Jul 24, 2004, 07:21
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As if I didn't feel like a big enough loser for seeing the movie and shopping at Value Village, now I have to contend with this insult too.
DreamWorks has made films and a fortune over the past 20 years based on one simple principle: people are dumb. Past insults have ranged from Pepsi slogans chasing actors around, to cross-commercialized, film-logo spark plugs and even cement forms, but in recent months this assumption of stupidity has pressed legal bounds.

DreamWorks has cosponsored a promotion to endorse the newly released film Anchorman, starring Will Farrell. As part of their publicity they've disseminated lottery-style scratch tickets to shoppers of the Value Village thrift store chain. The grand prize is a trip to San Diego, that is if you're American.

Perhaps the passive, pansy judicial system in Canada permits this sort of wiggle room. This ticket informs the would-be scratcher that, if you win and you're Canadian, you "may be required to correctly answer a skill testing question" before you may redeem your prize. I should mention that Mexicans have no restrictions on winning but, I wonder, is that just because all the Mexicans are already in San Diego? Smart move DreamWorks.

As a non-dumb non-Canadian I have to ask, "What basic knowledge will we be testing exactly? This won't be states and capitals will it? How about DreamWorks movie trivia, is that it?"

Clearly Canadians are being punished for their universal access to medical care and exchange-rate-diminished ticket prices. I'd like to think it only applies to our puck-slapping neighbors to the north because our legal system is so protective or because their tundra-frozen Labatts-soaked brains won't catch the technicality but I know it's actually something more. No one can pass this basic knowledge test because no one shopping at Value Village possesses any basic knowledge. In America, however, we have random shootings and it's the random shootings that keeps us safe.

Come on DreamWorks, you can dump $40 million into a film but you can't spot $300 bucks to fly a cheesehead to San Diego? Give us a real promotion, then maybe we'll scratch. And, if we do, just maybe we'll win... maybe.
Here it is folks, the real deal. Can someone tell me how this is legal?


This article available for reprint/syndication.

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