In apparent effort to raise the approval ratings of George W. Bush, senior members of the President Cabinet were planning to fake the death of Vice-President Dick Cheney, hoping that the American public would believe that Mr. Bush was actually making all his own decisions. It was Admir Rajanatan, a video store clerk from the D.C. area, that provided the tip that reveal the plot.
Should he indeed fake his own death, the Vice-President plans to supplement his income in Las Vegas.
Mr. Rajanatan, clerk at the Pennsylvania Avenue video rental venue Capitol VideoMania, noticed something odd during his day shifts at the store. “At first, I think it odd that Condi Rice comes in and rents Air Force One, Dave and Wag the Dog. But, I figured, what the hey, it’s a free country, you know? So, then, the day she returns them to the store, Mr. Powell comes in and rents the same three films. I am amazed!”
Admir’s tips, and some 3am research at the landfill where White House trash is taken, revealed the full extent of the discarded plan and why it was put aside. Shredded documents in a construction paper folder revealed a study that indicated that 99% of the American public would not question Dick Cheney apparently dying of a sudden heart attack one day at his desk, only 23% would believe that after Cheney’s faked death that the President was making his own decisions.
Further studies revealed that even if Colin Powell were also supposedly killed in a freak accident in his driveway while working on one of his classic Volvos, and then Ms. Rice were to also disappear (suddenly running off to Samoa with a video-store clerk), only 28% of the American public would believe Mr. Bush was making any decisions.
Mr. Rajanatan also asked that former President Clinton please return any and all Olsen Twin videos he had rented from Capitol VideoMania while in the Oval Office.
