Instead of slinging rock for $1,000 a day, this young entrepeneur is reduced to playing competitive chess for pennies a day.
President Bush recently announced a new plan to allocate eighteen million dollars to the struggling drug dealers of America. The plan will allocate money and/or business essentials to the dealers who have been hit hardest by the sluggish economy.
“The coke dealers are doing fine,” he said. “The street value and demand of the ‘White Lady’ has remained solid over the years. It’s the pot and pill dealers I’m most concerned about…the little guys. They're driving all the way across town to sell a dime bag or a couple of Xanax. That's not going to cut it.”
The president went on to explain the benefits of his ne w drug program. “For the first time, all of America’s dealers will see some benefits, regardless of illegal income, drug underworld status or size of client base. If they don’t qualify for a check, they will at least be provided with scales and baggies, and possibly cell phones.”
“I met with several young men right here in Washington D.C. Several of them had to take a bus to meet me. Many are living at or below the poverty level and some with almost no bling at all.”
Mr. Bush also gave a brief assessment of of today’s depresses drug market. “One little buster - he couldn't have been more than 9 or 10 - was carrying a pager. (long pause). Can you imagine the how hard it can be to click up with in today’s drug market when you're still using a pager? Not to mention the humiliation!"
“We're all concerned about the youth of America. This plan is designed to help struggling dealers enjoy financial freedom similar to the drug-dealing glory days of the 80's, and I have faith Congress will approve this bill. Only then can will we see independent dealers kickin it like their big-time counterparts, knockin boots and living the American dream.”
