Barbara and Jenna on hearing of their father's plan for them to drop out of college for a year and tramp through Europe.
Washington - Ignoring Secretary of State Powell's objections, Bush to secretly use the 'twin' option to garner French and German support for International bailout in Iraq. Should make a great B movie in a couple of years.
A senior White House official, speaking on condition of anonymity, has confirmed that President Bush has secretly offered his twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna, as sex slaves to French President Chirac and German Chancellor Schroeder in return for their support of a UN bailout in Iraq. Senior administration officials, believing that all of Europe is decrepit, came up with the plan as a desperate attempt to offload some of the cost of the seemingly never ending Iraqi conflict. Both Vice President Cheney and Defense Secretary Rumsfeld have been strongly in favor of the plan for some time. However, Secretary of State Colin Powell has held up the matter for several weeks.
At a recent staff meeting with the President, an exasperated Powell blurted out to Bush, "Where the fuck are your brains boy?! Jesus H. Christ how did I ever get mixed up with a numskull like you? I should have run for President myself. At least I could have won the election, unlike you, you weaselly dick head." Luckily for Powell, the President and other members of the staff ignored the outburst, writing it off to 'black angst'. The so called twin plan was approved soon after Powell stormed out room.
Details of the plan have not been released, but it assumed that Barbara and Jenna will spend at least a year in service. The thought is that the public will be told that each will be spending a year abroad to further good will with our allies. It is widely anticipated that the girls will be quite pleased to serve the country in a manner suited to their status and talents.
One potential issue with the plan is that the Russians might feel slighted with the Germans and French getting all the action. At first, it was suggested that Laura could fill in. However, the First Lady convinced her husband that this was a bad idea by grabbing him in the crotch and threatening to, "squeeze until they pop." As an alternative, it was decided to offer the President's mother, former First Lady Barbara Bush, to the Russians. "Mom's always game," said President Bush. "Besides, the Russians like big women."
