On Tuesday, President Bush addressed the Association of Incredibly Rich Heartless Drug Corporations, IRHDC, and promised them that border patrols would shoot to kill any senior trying to smuggle inexpensive prescription Canadian drugs across the U.S./Canadian border.
"Just a liiiittle closer...that's right...swallow this, you drug-running commie bastards!"
“I’m all for free trade and open borders,” the President said, “but free trade is supposed to create slave labor in 3rd World countries and export jobs, not benefit the American people. These elderly addicts, these grandpa gangsters are bringing cheaper arthritis medicine into this country at the expense of the defenseless foreign-based drug companies that have striven hard to make prescription drugs completely unaffordable throughout this great land of ours. AARP smugglers are cheating drug companies out of their government-given right to bleed seniors to death, and by God, I’m going to stop them.”
When later questioned as to why drugs were so much cheaper in Canada, a 1st World country and America’s neighbor, the President embarked on a short tirade.
“What right does Canada have to embarrass our corporate healthcare system that makes even Cuba’s look so damn good? Those godless Commies to the north may think I’m gonna sit here pretty and do nothing. Well, when we're done in Iraq those Canucks will be facing troops that've gotten a taste for blood. We're gone fry us some Canadian Commie bacon!"
In faraway Washington, Dick Cheney snapped his fingers and Bush immediately returned to Air Force One.
