Billionaire Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates during a rare daylight appearance.
It is one of the most elite clubs in the world. The Good Club is made up of the worlds richest and most generous people, who right now, are making the $10 you give to Greenpeace each month look as pitiful as it really is. The Good Club recently held its first meeting, rumoured to be the biggest love-in/mutual back-slapping event since Bob Geldof gave hand relief to Bono at Live 8.
The members combined wealth is US$125 billion, which, to put that number in perspective, is US$10 billion more than New Zealand's GDP. The club was formed by nerd overlord Bill Gates and includes Oprah Winfrey - yoyo dieting fanatic and portrayer of mindless drivel, David Rockefeller Jr - the son of the son of a rich petroleum tyrant and Ted Turner - creator of CNN, Americas largest news parody organisation.
The group also includes other immensely rich business men who you've likely never heard of, but, could buy and sell you just for the hell of it.
Few doubt the good intentions of Gates and co. who have already improved the lives of millions of the worlds poor. However, critics are asking, can the worlds richest people save the planet? We put this question to our economics and foreign policy expert John Polowski, he stated: "I'm not sure if the world's richest people will be able to save the planet, mainly because it's literally full of billions of self-serving arseholes.
That said, we've given the poor a few thousand years to sort their shit out and they've accomplished sweet fuck all. I mean look at Africa, they're mainly interested in condom-less free humping and where's that got them?"
We asked John if the Good Club could do a better job than leading political leaders, he replied; "Well more than likely, like the poor, politicians are also only really interested in condom-less free humping, just look at the last G8 and G20, what got accomplished there? Bugger all, that's what! At least the Good Club pay for there own meals, travel and hotel expenses."
The members, along with Gates, have donated over US$70 million since 1996. Which makes Hayley Westenra and her attempt to fob off a couple of bikes in Africa look like the the pathetic pile of crap it is.
Greg Jameson, an avid cyclist from Birkenhead, who raised $5000 by being sponsored to ride from the top of New Zealand to the bottom said: "Well, yes the good club does kind of shit all over I'm doing, thanks."
Sharon Sharonsin, a racist chemist shop owner from Mt Albert said: "So does that mean I can stop giving to that cult, oh what are they called? Christian Children's Fund, that's it!"
However critics are questioning if this club has been set up for good, then why has it been meeting behind closed doors? Suggestions have been made that the group are in fact intent on world domination, throwing over one military dictatorship at a time, until they will rule the world. It is rumoured they will start with Fiji as a warm up as they believe Frank Bainimarama is ready to hand control over for a crate Fiji Bitter.
