Above: A histogram showing the respective levels of God-fearingosity. * - data taken from Southern Baptist Convention Research Council (SBCRC)*** ** - apparently, God doesn't fear himself because he's a badass...but he's also omnipotent, so I used L-Hopital's rule to arrive at the conclusion that God fears God =0. *** - data from SBCRC somehow taken from the Bible, excluding value for God's own level of God-fearingosity.
The German engineering firm Siemens has announced it will change the name of one of its US product-lines from "Zyklon." Jewish groups have protested the use of the name, as it coincides with the name of an insecticide used during the later stages of the Nazi Holocaust.
The Jewish groups seemingly had formed an ally in the Southern Baptist Convention - both groups are wary of the firm responsible for using Jews for slave labor during the Nazi Holocaust.
The SBC, under the leadership of Billy Graham, has also publicly criticized Siemens for it's use of names. The following is an excerpt from a written statement, read by Billy Graham's archangel-secretary," 'Semens' (sic) is a downright awful name for a company. If the company gets really popular in the USA, God bless this country, just imagine, 'Semens' would be on the tongues of all our young people. That's just not right. Honestly, I don't even know what they sell, but can tell you with confidence that it's the Devil's wares. They don't even respect proper American...er...English, grammar. Every God-fearing man and woman knows "semen" is already plural - that leaves me no choice but to make some saddening conclusions about their level of God-fearing."
Russ Tanner, head of the American Jewish Committee, commented upon hearing the announcement, "Um....I don't know what the Baptists are thinking. Initially, I thought it was nice that they were able to displace their antagonism toward Jews by giving birth to a brand-new hate for Siemens, but they missed the whole point. I guess its nice to have an ally and all, but it's kind of like having a blind guy offering to drive your car for you, or helping someone make a funny website when you're incapable of making funny websites."
No other religious groups, nor anyone else with functioning sets of cerebrums and cerebellums, have publicly criticized the company.
