While it may sound like a lighthearted "Son of Dundee" working title, it's actually the rallying cry of a very real love/hate story.
An overnight protest by Indian students in Australia's second largest city, Melbourne, broke up early yesterday morning with 18 people detained by police for "not loving Australia". 2000 Indian students protested the recent violent attacks on Indian nationals in Australia.
The demonstration came after the Australian and Indian governments tried to figure a way for Australia to continue charging excessive fees to study in Australia, but also maintain their cultural heritage of beating the crap out of people with with brown skin.
In the past 12 months there have been over 70 attacks on Indian students, including two unrelated incidents in the past week, where 5 Indian students have been beaten and stabbed, with one student fighting for his life. In India this has prompted headlines such as "Australia, land of racists." Tourism Australia has been quick to jump on this bandwagon and are suggesting this as 2010 advertising campaign.
Police argue that Indians fall victim to crime because they travel alone late at night, to work long hours at part-time jobs and carry valuables such as laptop computers. We asked the Commissioner: "So you are saying it's their fault as they work hard, doing jobs Australians are to lazy to do and that they have nice things." To which he replied: "Well, that and their brown." His comments are expected to increase the number of Australian thugs at train stations who had been too dim to think of it until now.
A special task force has been set up by Prime Minister Kevin "Ruddo" Rudd to co-ordinate Australia's response to the violence against Indian students. It is suspected that the task force will suggest "beating them with sticks for speaking out against the great white Australia."
Meanwhile the Foreign Affairs Minister Steven "Macca" McEnroy said: "Australia takes its reputation as a safe destination for rich international students very seriously, oh wait, that should just be international students can you get rid of the rich bit?"
In relation to this, Education New Zealand chief executive Rob Mellow has contacted the New Zealand Trade and Enterprise office in India. He has suggested to the office that they market the two countries as being completely separate from one another. He suggested "something along the lines of: We're Not Australia". Tourism New Zealand is strongly considering this as their 2010 advertising campaign.
We asked a subset of people on the streets of Melbourne on their thoughts, Joe "Smitho" Smith, a self described "average Aussie bloke" said: "Look, if these darkies don't like it they can go back to whatever 3rd world shithole they came from." When asked what he thought about the indigenous population who were dark skinned and had been on the land for over 40,000 years compared to the mere 200 years of British rule he replied: "What are ya? A wog lover?"
George "Wozza" Warickson, who described himself as a proud Australian and a professional rugby league player said: "This is nothing, they should've been in Sydney for the 2005 race riots, bashing all those lebs and wogs, that was great!"
As an unexpected boost tourism, Australia is seeing an increase in white fascists from across Europe coming on holiday to soak up the sun and crack some skulls.
