Whether it's fire in his hair or shooting out of his ass, Jacko dazzles the crowd.
LOS OLIVOS, Ca. -- Michael Jackson appears to have frittered away his half-billion dollar fortune and is near bankruptcy, according to his former financial advisors. They are suing Jackson for $12 million in fees and expenses.
While a Jackson family attorney claims MJ is financially secure, there are signs that the King of Pop seems desperate for new income sources. Jackson opened his ‘Neverland Ranch’ to the public last week as a trial balloon for it’s permanent operation as a theme park.
Charging $44 admission, guests entering Neverland were able to experience the 2,600 acre fantasy world that Jackson calls home. Children under 13 were admitted for free, and were given a special tour of the Jackson mansion.
Several new theme rides and shows have been added to Neverland’s pre-existing zoo and basic carnival rides:
Neverland's Can-Can Revue is a must-see. Six shows daily.
PIGMENT PALACE ~Experience a mysterious transmogrification from black to white, or vice versa. Even your own family won’t recognize you!
FIREHEAD THEATRE ~ Take part in an actual TV commercial shoot! After soaking your hair in flammable grease, dance your way through a spine-tingling tunnel of sparks, glitter and Pepsi Cola. Combustible fun the whole family can enjoy!
JACKSON 5 TWIRL-A-WHIRL ~ Breath-taking excitement on a dizzying ride to the stratosphere. Hear the voices of Jackie, Marlon, Jermaine and Tito cry “HEY, YOU FORGOT US!” as you twist off into stardom!
MICHAEL’S MAGICAL ELEPHANT EXPERIENCE ~ Enter the oxygen-controlled, surreal world of the Freakish Dead! Leave your worries behind as you lay next to the mummified 19th century corpse of Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man. Exhilarating!
See wonders of the deep at "Michaels Mystery Mermaid Theater
FACELIFT FUNHOUSE ~ Actual plastic surgeons transform your face into the likeness of Dianna Ross, Elizabeth Taylor or a lesser primate of your choice. You won’t believe your eyes! Or your nose!
BERLIN BABY-BOUNCE ~ Climb aboard a 6-person diaper -- suspense builds as giant gloved hands lift you slowly through the darkness -- you emerge into daylight – and find yourself dangling precariously 3 stories above ground! There's only a split-second to look up and see a laughing 55-foot Michael before he lets you go! Pant-wetting thrills!
JACKO’S HOUSE OF HORRORS ~ Enter the eerie underbelly of Neverland. This terrifying ride actually brings you within inches of Michael Jackson…IN PERSON! Not recommended for individuals with heart conditions. Actual Michael Jackson may be substituted with actual Marlon Brando.
While attendance at Neverland’s public debut was heavy, reviews were mixed.
“I brought the family up from Whittier,” said one man. “Spent all day there on Saturday. We had a lot of fun until we went into that House of Horrors. The kids are still having nightmares.”
Even Walt Disney on his worst peyote trip couldn't have dreamed up a world as bizarre as Neverland. Pixie character "Tacobell" (above) gets ready to greet the day's guests.
