STAMFORD, CT – Mott’s, the popular maker of applesauce, apple juice, and other apple products, announced this week the introduction of a new flavor to its popular line of Fruitsations™ flavored applesauce. The new applesauce flavor will be called "Applesauce".
"But Mommy! I don't wanna eat it. It tastes like shit!" "That's nice, sweetie. Stay here and clean you plates. Mommy has to talk to the pool boy in the bedroom."
In order to grab its share of the large market for food products making it into grade school lunches, Mott’s first introduced single-serving cups of applesauce under the name Fruitsations™ two years ago. The delicious snacks have become popular among students, and come in eight different flavors: banana, cherry, mango peach, mixed berry, pear, strawberry, strawberry banana, and tropical blend.
“This cherry flavored applesauce is absolutely delicious. The flavoring tastes so real, and not at all like apples—I swear, it’s like I’m actually eating artificial cherries. Miraculous!” commented Anderson High School Freshman Jessica Ross, eating a cup of her favorite snack.
Hoping to capitalize on the popularity of the Fruitsations™ line, Mott’s has introduced a new flavor—applesauce. The reason for the late introduction of this flavor, according to the company, is concern that the new flavor might not sell as well as the original eight, being viewed by many as bland and unoriginal.
“It’s a risky move, we realize," said a spokesperson. "Applesauce flavored applesauce...sounds pretty crazy, right? But that’s what we’re betting on. We at Mott’s think that this new flavor is so crazy, it just might work."
Mott's carefully inspects every apple that goes into it's delicious applesause. MOTT'S: Tastes Fresh 'Cause It's Painted Fresh...Every Day!
Many applesauce enthusiasts are pleased about the introduction of the new flavor.
“Applesauce flavored applesauce…sure, it sounds a bit unorthodox, but all the other flavors taste so great, why not try it? I, for one, am excited to see what it'll taste like,” said Megan Lily, an avid applesauce lover.
However, not all are so enthused. Most students, when asked, responded negatively to the change in their lunchtime snack options.
“How dumb can you get? Applesauce isn’t supposed to taste like applesauce. Why do you think they have all these flavors? You’d think the corporate world would have learned their lesson about this kind of thing with all that New Coke stuff back in the 80’s,” said Anderson High School Senior Jay Romichs. “What assholes.”
