The only real loser in the nuclear debate is citizens of the planet earth.
The pro-nuclear world won a significant victory recently when the anti-nuclear and non-proliferation factions came together and, in typical nuclear cataclysmic fashion, cancelled each other out.
"It was unexpected," said Markus Lentinin, Russian nuclear physicist (retired). "But, given the nature of the two groups, they should have foreseen that it was a real possibility."
While the world waits to see whether some new group will form to fill the void, others say the void is welcomed. "Look," said Spike Hevvywater, analyst for the IAEC, "Two negatives do not make a positive. Never have and never will. It's basic theory. It's like anti-matter. You've got to keep them apart or you've got trouble. It was inevitable."
All theory aside, the world faces tough days ahead as tin-pot countries continue to make forays into developing their own nuclear capabilities, risking an American invasion to "clean things up."
Iran, North Korea and other questionable nations like India, Brazil, and even France (now called 'Freedom' in the US) face severe sanctions if they continue to develop their own nuclear capabilities. "If other countries want to build nuclear capability then they should let the established nuclear industry, the one owned by Americans, do it for them," said Ronald Dumsfeld, US nuclear industry spokesperson. "And we'd rather not have to attack them first to get the business. It's kind of wasteful."
It does appear that so-called 'other countries', not an the 'A' list of troublemakers, continue to produce nuclear energy as if the Americans would never take notice. "Canada is such a country," commented California Governor Graying Davis, nuclear friend and old guy. "What the hell is a country like that producing nuclear power for? I mean, have you seen Canada lately? It's mostly water, and river water at that. River water produces electricity, not in California of course, but Canada's full of it."
Even though Davis is usually wrong, experts agree with him about Canada. Experts also say they are watching Norway, too, mainly because of its fjords. Many are also watching American Idol, which according to one person, is a show that has gone nuclear in the ratings emerging unscathed from the void creating cataclysmicization.
It now appears that only good old American ingenuity and entrepreneurialism can really fill the void left by the cancelling out of the non-proliferation and anti-nuclear factions. At least the world is left with one positive out of what could have have been a more damaging event. In the words of some people in the New Jersey area, "Go Nets!"
