Don't let anyone tell you that it isn't expensive to invade another country. The US budgeted upwards of $70 billion for Iraq. Other countries like Britain and Australia also budgeted large amounts to cover the costs of their participation in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Under the current approach there is no hope of the invading country ever recovering any of the money spent.
With PPV revenues, invading powerhouses will be able to aford the latest in genocide technology.
Plans afoot to set up a payment schedule to cover the costs of invading a foreign land. Modelled on the 'Pay Per View' TV system, the UN pay countries to invade other countries so long as the UN approves of the invasion or at least doesn't disapprove or stays silent on the matter.
"We need maximum flexibility," said Hams Blitzkreig, UN spokesperson, "But we also want to assure invading countries that they will get some, if not all, of their money back for the invasion.
"We'll set up a schedule for how payment levels will be determined - length of invasion, size of invading army, ordinance to be used, brothel costs, etc. This way invading countries can calculate how much they'll get back."
"Finally, war has moved into the modern era," said war specialist Frederick Ichbineiner. "Combining the need to invade with a compensation plan brings war into the new world order like never before."
According to Ichbineiner, many wrinkles still need to be worked out. These include UN invasion approval and pre-approval forms, as well as post-invasion claim documents. It also includes setting up a massive new bureaucracy to manage the new 'invasion compensation administration."
"The UN can't do anything without first setting up thousands of bureaucrats in a new building to manage this. They're a lot like the European Union that way, meaningless yet ineffective," explained Ichbineiner.
It is not expected that the UN will pay for just any invasion. Information in the UN's 'So You Want to Invade Another Country?' pamphlet indicates only first-world countries invading lesser nations will be eligible. SAfrican nations who like to invade each other on a regular basis are not eligible. Ditto former parts of Yugoslavia and former parts of the Soviet Union. The Middle East is out for eternity, as the struggle there ahs been ongoing for several thousand years, and is expected to continue until the demise of our solar system.
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Some have criticized the UN pay-per-invasion plan as only half a program, with no benefit to the invaded country. But the UN says that the IMF and World Bank were set up to help invadees, allowing conquered countries to borrow all they need for rebuilding. And, if the invadees aren't happy with this arrangement, they can always go on to the black market to try and meet their needs.
As UN rep, Indt Harmsway, puts it, "We're just filling in the gap in the international invading army support puzzle. There's self-help, black market help and, now, UN help. It's full circle coverage like never before. Good for invaders, good for invadees."
