- Men Are From Mars, Midgets Are From Uranus - When choosing a film to satisfy male & female senses, never overlook the Little-Pornster genre. Drama, romance and breath-taking action are found in nearly every midget-packed production.
Keith Randell, 23, allegedly fooled his girlfriend into thinking that a video they rented was the Vin Diesel action thriller “XXX”. Reports indicate that the movie instead was actually the equally popular “Midget Japanese Schoolgirls - XXX.”
Patricia tells us what happened: “Keith said that he wanted to rent a Vin Diesel movie. I normally prefer romantic comedies over action films, but I figured I might be able to show him that I’ll adapt for him. I thought that I could use the episode as a bargaining tool to maybe get him to go down on me once in a while. Imagine my surprise when the movie started and I see these 3 latex-wrapped female midgets going at each other with strap-ons giant candy bars. OK, it did turn me on a little, but don’t tell Keith.”
Keith thinks that Patricia is overreacting by refusing any attempt at sex and generally being
a "humorless bitch.”
Sex expert Dr. Wat Chu Fuk agreed to provide his opinion on the matter. “Keith wanted his girlfriend to join him in watching adult entertainment. This in and of itself is not the problem, but the way he went about it is all wrong. He should have had a frank discussion with Patricia, telling her how he thinks that viewing erotic movies can help stimulate their sexual relationship. Also, what the fuck was he thinking? Midgets? He should have picked something more female friendly. Maybe the Pam and Tommy Lee honeymoon video. I can’t think of any female that wouldn’t like that.”
Keith still can’t believe that his girlfriend fell for a such an abviuos ruse.
“At first I thought that she’d see right through it. I mean, sure the video had a big 'XXX' on the front, but the naked midget in hot pants should have tipped her off. It was pretty damn funny. It was almost worth the entire 'no sex' thing. The midget tape was pretty entertaining, and I've got a three-day rental. I can take care of myself when I need to.”
Unbeknownst to Keith, Patricia is secretly searching for a new boyfriend, because she wants to “still live there and stuff. Do you really think I want to move back in with my parents? I can't watch porno there.”
GIDDYUP! Who needs Vin Diesel when you've your own little stud-monkey to bounce around?
