Is it me or is that some twisted nipple action going on?
When investigative journalist and porn aficionado Red Stiler first heard the rumors that Sophia Loren (aka Sofia Lazzaro & Sofia Scicolone) porn tapes ala Tracy Lords surfaced he moved his mattress into his home office, locked himself in and his family out, determined not to leave until he uncovered and discovered the truth for himself and the entire world to see, appreciate and masturbate to. With his family starving due to his lack of working he has been forced to titillate the world with some of his newly uncovered tidbits and we at Glossy News found ourselves to be the top bidder. Enjoy the tidbits offered, because for now, the truth remains unknown, though the witnesses and experts that Stiler has offered up to whet our appetites certainly make those who want to believe eager for all the raviolis and tortellini to be dished out in all their nasty glory.
Fact #1: It is widely known, accepted and admitted to by Ms. Loren herself that her enterprising Mama Mia was the first in her family to excitedly visit the casting couch. However, daughter seems to have gone further upon that couch than her mother did. I mean, can you name me even one movie starring Romilda Villani? What has thus far been publicly denied by Loren insiders is the factoid that mamma has proudly traded half a loaf of bread for herself and sold her then 15-year-old daughter Sofia to anybody and everybody who was not afraid to be arrested under the Seduction Juvenile laws that existed at the time.
So there is fact and factoid side by side� is enough to convict Ms. Loren in our minds? Probably not. But, what happens when you begin piling the circumstantial evidence, one clue, one witness, one photo atop another?
Just two beautiful women doing beautiful things
Mr. Stiler points us next to an online German news site as proof; after all, there it is in black and white� Sophia Loren, porn actress! Now, I don�t speak German and I certainly cannot read it. However, I did go to the website and indeed found the Loren biography that Mr. Stiler points to as proof that he�s hot on the trail of truth, so I personally took the article to an unbiased resource I know who was willing to translate the article for me sentence by sentence. Who is resource who is willing to go on the record and confirm that at least according to Prisma news source, Sophia Loren acted in Pornographic film? He is the free online translator.
Indeed the translation states clearly that �As Sofia Lazzaro she helps in a big number of unimportant films, including porno films, however, her later husband Carlo Ponti buys up all films to prevent possible publications and scandals.�
All right it�s out there in the universe for all to judge, Sophia Loren did porn and her husband made every effort to destroy the proof. Convinced yet? I wasn�t. But, our investigative porn journalist Mr. Stiler insists that he has spoken to many self-professed Loren experts via video and telephone conferences. Here are excerpts of what they have to say on the topic of Sophia Loren, fellactress:
Craig Lindsey, a Houston book critic with special interests in film and popular music had to say, "[regarding] Warren G. Harris in his Sophia Loren: A Biography, [he] keeps a surprisingly respectable distance from such matters of Loren's life, like the rumors of prostitution during her youth..."
Stiler states, � Isn�t that the same thing Andy Warhol said about [Loren] when he met her in N.Y.: �She's a $$High-Class Whore$$!�� *Note, �$$Whore$$!� � I�ve noted it Stiler, I�ve noted it.
Next we have Mr. Onanymous stating, "Some years ago a British soldier stationed in Italy in �45 claimed there were naughty playing cards being passed around in his barracks with a [then 17-year-old] Loren smiling vertically on their face. Being in the know about making her way "Per ASSpera Ad Astra, there is nothing extraordinary, outstanding and out of the commmon in such �news.� That certainly is not the question... But, according to her 'metryka-matricula', she would have been 11-years-old when posing for those pictures which makes her real birthdate not 1934 but 1928, and today she is almost 80! � Spectacular!"
Ms. Ann Iwitnez, who wished to remain unnamed, stated, "[I] thought was common knowledge. It was way before she was a 'star.' She was a fine piece of ass when she was younger, and I've seen clips of one of the porn flicks she made, it was in black and white and very grainy, but you sure as hell could tell it was her."
Group of Comrades told Stiler, "Yes, absolutely before becoming a star she was famous amongst Rome's Prostitutes' Johns as a, well, as an 'oral specialist.'" At least that's what Roman grand-dads claim� Actually, Roman people suffered from hunger after WWII and many girls couldn't find any means to fill their stomachs other than by prostituting themselves; such may have been the case of La Loren. Off the record, I've got confidence from a friend of mine who is an old times [sic] actor's brother -- Do you remember that guy in Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow who played the role of the kid who fell in love with the prostitute Sophia but had to give her up for becoming a priest?"
Several of Loren�s fellow countrymen have stated, "We Italians know story very well and many of Loren's fellow countrymen think she was doing that before, and her notorious respectable "Family-mom-style," that�s fake."
An undisclosed "friend" of the Loren-Ponti family stated, "In the '50s she was just a cheap whore who could be used without a care. She has not had a "friend" in the business, and we tried to make her a 'star'..."
One who knows the truth wanted it stated firmly that, "Sofia Scicolone -- [Sophia Loren was the love child of Miss Villani and Riccardo Scicolone] -- and her ex-prostitute single mother lived in abject poverty in the war-torn slums of Naples and, at the age of fourteen Sofia was became a model for Fotoromanzl and turned to 'acting' in the fumetti photo magazines with comic-strip-style stories featuring soap-opera plots and balloon dialogue. Her character was most often that of a gypsy vamp, and her poses on one occasion earned her the attentions of Italian police censorship. At the same time the young Sofia allegedly began appearing in films which averaged 7 films per year, all uncredited bit parts in risque films, some of which were indeed pure pornography. The enterprising women smartly entered the world of beauty contests and at the ripe old age of 15 the future Ms. Loren was discovered by 37-year-old beauty judge Carlo Ponti who immediately made her his own kept-woman.
One who knows the truth continued, �Some say La Loren was programmed to become a whore since birth. Others say it is enough to look at the past of an imaginary actress � �fluffer and fellactress: "fellatio" + "actress" ) who, for some strange reason has always preserved some "private moments" of her life from everybody so carefully, that even her own personal diary was torn to pieces with every smallest scrap of it burned... Why? Well, because for the pretty girls, pretenders trying to make their way onto the big screen - then and now - there seemed only one possibility: Pornography and employment of a similar sort will pave the way. Why else was the leading role of La Ciociara (1960), scripted for the beautiful genius that was Anna Magnani given to Loren? I�ll tell you, it was three very simple reasons, which were wonderfully stacked in the same simple formula: 38C-24-38.�
Working under the creative pseudonym Sofie Lazzaro, Ms. Loren may have indeed found herself creatively struggling for respectability only to discover that all of the testing of her �suitability for the profession� may simply have been the machinations of the studio men hoping to sip the sweet juices of her black orchid. Fortunately for the world, results of all that testing resulted in the hand-drawn reproductions of her efforts published far and wide as the Kama Sutra; oh, and the fact that she indeed is one of the sexiest women of the 20 and 21st Centuries and therefore could carry a picture.
The Sex Godess in her prime
But does all of truly mean that the Oscar-winning actress who People Magazine named as one of the 50 Most Beautiful People in the world (in 1991), Empire Magazine named #25 in the Sexiest Stars in Film History, Playboy ranked as #6 in Sex Stars of the Century rankings, and was named by the American Film Institute as #21 in their 50 Greatest Screen Legends and is best known to the world as the �Italian Marilyn Monroe� did indeed perform sexual acts on film for public viewing? No, not necessarily. How can I, as a reporter writing for a fake news source say that simply reading it makes for the truth? I cannot. Is fake news? Maybe, maybe not. I leave that for you to decide.
And, as for Red Stiler? Well, he�s still locked in that room, presumably scouring the Internet for more pictorial evidence* to indulge himself in.
*We at Glossy News do not claim that the images seen in article are indeed Ms. Loren despite Mr. Stiler�s insistence to the contrary. We are aware that in 1999 Ms. Loren filed a single lawsuit against 76 �adult� websites for using fraudulent photographs of her naked image. We don�t know whether these images are of her or of a lookalike or a photoshoped orgasm� We all believe what we want to believe, right?
