Porn producer and part time mad scientist Dr. Fu*kenstein claims to have created the most hideous, yet strangely arousing porn actress the world has ever seen. Made up of body parts from deceased porn actresses with the attributes he was looking for, Dr. Fu*kenstein laughed manically while describing his creation.
“This is the most perfectly monstrous porn star ever created. She’s got the tits of Oprah Winfrey, the ass of Serena Williams, the pussy of Amy Winehouse and the mouth of Sarah Silverman. But, the key to her horrific glory is she has the angelic face of Mary-Kate Ashley. There is absolutely no d*ck in existence that can either resist or satisfy her unholy urges. Ah, Ha, HA, HAAAA!” An assistant banging a gong brought forth the new siren of the jizz screen as reporters collectively gasped, horrified yet erotically fascinated the creature.
Huge, pendulous breasts swayed like the Cloverfield monster, hideous to the reporters, yet they could not turn away. As she slowly turned, butt-cheeks that could crack coconuts forced images into the minds men that could never be erased. Suddenly, erupting from the big, filthy Silverman mouth were suggestions of a sexual nature unheard by man since primitive times, driving several of the reporters mad on the spot. The vagina tried to enunciate in return, then merely screamed like a banshee before consuming a ham left on the table and spitting out the bone. The reporters turned to flee, but, the big innocent blue eyes of Mary-Kate mesmerized even the most harden horn-dog and forced them to return. “This is the perfect sexual beast,” Fu*kenstein pronounced, erupting into another spat of maniacal laughter.
Then the room went to dark as video footage of test subject attempting to sexual satisfy the creature revealed the futility of it all. Inhuman experiments revealed hapless men repulsed yet still sexually aroused. One man, thrusting furiously between the creature’s cleavage was begging for mercy. “I can’t stop. I’ve been erect for two days straight. Kill me. Please….kill….me.” Another lay crushed on the floor, a victim the creature’s Serena-like butt-cheeks clamping down like the jaws of a T-Rex. In a corner, one man was frozen as if turned to stone after seeing the medusa like pussy of Amy Winehouse, while another screamed non-stop, driven mad looking at the face of Mary-Kate while listening to infinitely twisted and demented suggestions from Silverman’s mouth. “Arrrrrg…..I can’t believe that filthy mouthed vixen is actually turning me on…but how can I f*ck a woman with such an innocent face?”
So far, the only porn star to successfully survive the creature’s many death traps has been Ron Jeremy. Remarking only, “Yeah, I’ll hit that,” Jeremy successfully banged the creature and survived. Producer and mad scientist Fu*kenstein plans to release a movie featuring the two called “Monster Mash” early next year. “
