Speaker Pelosi expresses the most intense emotional appearance possible with her face's condition.
Washington — In an escalation of the conflict between the Central Intelligence Agency and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a CIA source has provided the New York Times a tape of what he maintains is a July 2007 meeting attended by Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, and Rep. John Murtha.
“Normally, we’d spike this story,” said Bill Keller, Executive Editor of the Times. “But these are not normal times. We need to sell newspapers or we’ll wind up being a Paraguayan billionaire’s trophy rag.
“We don’t have the budget to do voice analysis, so we asked the National Enquirer to vet the tape,” Keller said. “They confirm it’s legitimate. I’ve personally listened to the audio and the transcript we’ve printed is accurate.”
In one exchange, Pelosi, Murtha, and Reid appear to be discussing ways to keep a weakened President Bush on the defensive in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars:
MURTHA: al Qaeda’s taking a hit in Iraq, and the Sunnis are beginning to turn. Not good. We need to buy bin Laden some time over there to revive the insurgency or we’re in trouble. Nancy, why don’t you schedule that Turkish genocide vote next week. That’d tick the Turks off and force Petraeus to divert forces to the Turkish border, easing pressure on jihadists in Anbar Province.
PELOSI: Good thinking, John. A resolution here, a resolution there, we poison relations with key allies, and then we claim that Bush is going it alone in his so-called War On Terror. Harry?
REID: Let’s bring Pakistan and Saudi Arabia into play. I’ll schedule a vote demanding that the administration take out Pakistan’s nuclear facilities. Following that, we’ll pass a bill requiring all members of the Saudi Royal family visiting America to submit to body cavity searches.
PELOSI: Sounds good. I’ll reach out to Taliban leader Mullah Omar and invite him to be my guest at the State of the Union. Karzai will have a fit, and the Taliban will be re-energized. Bush’s numbers’ll continue to go south when people see what a mess he’s made of things. Folks, we’ve got plenty of options to keep the President scrambling. We owe it to the American people.
A spokesman for CIA Director Leon Panetta told the Times Panetta would comment as soon as he checked with the White House for talking points.
