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| Ever feel like your personal bubble`s maybe being crowded just a little? |
I’ve been a student of the urinary arts for about a year now and I have to say I’m getting pretty good at it. I’m not perfect, I’ll admit that much, but if I’ve learned one thing from my Mr. Daddy-O it’s that my time on my throne should be my own. This newcomer to the sport doesn’t get it, the baby keeps pushing me off the chair and it just isn’t right.
The parents aren’t alone in their unending requests for a moment of peace in the bathroom, seems it’s pretty much everyone that wants to be left alone at such moments of intimate departure. That doesn’t stop me from barging in, pointing, commenting and generally harassing them whether they be parents or houseguests, but now it’s my turn to ask for a moment and I’m no longer getting it.
I’ve never had much privacy during these supposedly private moments, and I haven’t really needed them. More often than not some sort of chocolate candy is in wait as my reward so the stage fright can remain in the wings pretty effectively. It’s just that this “distraction” has gone to a new level.
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LEFT - It may seem funny at first but he really gets pushy when it comes to sharing the chair.LEFT - It may seem funny at first but he really gets pushy when it comes to sharing the chair.
Bugging me is one thing, but pushing me off the toilet while my Flintstone vitamin-loaded pee is midstream is more than I know how to work around.
I commend the brother Dominic for his newfound ability to pee anywhere other than his own pants, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Nature stops for no man, not even a bungling baby brother who is jealous of my potty time and wants the throne and candies both for his own. I’m still learning to share and this is one thing I have no problem leaving to him 95% of the day, but if I gotta go, I gotta go man, that’s just all there is to it.
If you’re a mediator interested in negotiating a settlement between us I’d be more than willing to hear your proposal. I’m willing to give up an awful lot, but “new guy” has to let me take care of my own business too, you know?
In the meantime I’ve ordered a bunch of hockey goalie gear to help me keep him at bay. If that doesn’t work I’ll only have one last line of defense and I learned it from Ghost Busters… I’ll have to redirect the stream from my blaster to teach him a lesson. I know it ain’t right but neither is physically removing me from the can when I’m in the middle of my business.
ABOVE - This is me helping him learn how to use it in the first place. With that great knowledge has come great power, specifically the power to push me off of it when it's fairly my turn.
