National Enquirer - Part II of John Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at the Obama Compound. From his hiding place in the bushes outside a screened-in porch where strategy meetings were held, Smith taped the following conversation between Obama and top advisors. This session had to do with Obama’s plummeting poll numbers.
OBAMA: This is a disaster. I need volunteers to accept responsibility and fall on their swords. EMANUEL: I’ll commit seppuku during your next presser, sir. OBAMA: Your call. Bob, seat Major Garrett and Jake Tapper within spurting distance of Rahm. I want them to feel responsible for his sacrifice. Valerie? JARRETT: The Secret Service has rules about weapons anywhere near you, sir. Rahm won’t be able to get a katana into the East Room to perform the rite. He’ll have to disembowel himself in the corridor, then hold things in until he can get in front of the podium. OBAMA: Rahm’s Chicago tough. He can do it. Anybody else? AXELROD: My Chicago street smarts have been a bust in Washington, sir. Since everybody says I look like a Soviet apparatchik, demote me to Special Envoy to Putin. OBAMA: Done. Uh, Joe... BIDEN: I’d volunteer to resign, Boss, but your numbers would go through the floor if people thought I had what it takes to be President, and left. You need me right where I am, O. OBAMA: Good point. Let’s see... I need one more... MICHELLE: Who you looking at? I have a copy of your birth certificate--the long form. You hear me, Barack?
The Enquirer today has rejected a demand by Attorney General Holder that Smith and his tapes be turned over to the new White House Interrogation Team.
