Hillary: Gore Threatened Me with Endorsement

In an interview with Salon Magazine, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton charged that in May of 2008, former Vice President Al Gore threatened to support her for President, over her objections.

“When we learned that Al planned to come on board, Bill and I met with him in a K Street brothel Bill frequents—just the three of us and our Secret Service details. We pleaded with Al to endorse Senator Obama instead. He flatly refused, saying, ‘I helped you both get over the Lewinsky, uh, hump in ‘98 and that cost me the 2000 election. Well, here comes payback.’

“It got pretty intense,” said Mrs. Clinton. “At one point, Bill’s face turned purple, and he jabbed his finger into Gore’s chest and growled, ‘All those times you said you wouldn’t utter a good word about either of us, you were lying, weren’t you? Obama put you up to this? Oprah? Ken Starr?’”

A spokesman for President Clinton confirmed the account, adding that Mrs. Clinton obtained a restraining order against Gore, prohibiting him from coming within 100 hours of following through on his endorsement threat.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs acknowledged that Gore was a key advisor to the Obama campaign during the primaries, but he insisted that Gore never supported Obama. “We knew Al’s only interest was in leaving his big carbon footprint on Hillary’s back, and we respected that.”

Unavailable for comment, Gore is in transit to Altair IV in the Orion Cluster for an interstellar conference on “Cosmic Warming–or the Heat Death of the Universe?”

Author: Sagman44

Sagman44 was born in Brooklyn and taught language skills in a New York City alternative school for troubled Utes. When the federal government defunded the program in 1994, the Utes returned to their ancestral homeland outside Salt Lake City, and Sagman44 began a career as a leg shark and loan-breaker for dyslexic mobsters. One legacy of Sagman44’s time in education: his distaste for arrogant teens and the expression, “F--- you.” He spends his spare time roaming the city with a can of spray paint, examining subway walls and tenement halls, adding “th” to the curse wherever he finds it.