In what appears to be another tactic by the Gray Davis campaign to gain advantage in the recall election, the Governor has proposed the job of California's leader be determined not by votes, but by testicle size.
“I think that he job of governor should go to the guy with balls big enough to do it,” said Davis.
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| "Uh, Governor...are you sure this is where you keep them?" Davis steps forward for his official testicular test. |
Seen as a stroke of genius by political insiders, the tactic will question Arnold Schwarzenegger’s masculinity, and the ball-size question should go to Davis, considering Schwarzenegger’s past steroid use during his weight-lifting days.
“This is a low blow...a cheap attempt to swing the election to Davis,” said a Schwarzenegger spokesman. “Everyone knows Arnold has a history of steroid use, and if he'd known the size of his testicles would determine his political career, I’m sure he would've abstained from his ‘roid-rage’ days."
In anticipation of the “ballistic” campaign drive to come, the Davis campaign has writteng cute, catchy campaign slogans, such as:- “Nuts enough to be governor!”- “The balls for the job!”
- “Testiness is a virtue!”
- “A sack full of nuts is a ballot full of votes!”
- “Nutty for Davis!”
- “Arnold Schwarzenegger is a teeny-nut ass-fuck!”
Methods to determine testicle size are being proposed, ranging from precise weight, using a measuring tape around the vertical midline of the scrotal sack, or having Richard Simmons just roll them in his mouth for a while.
The Schwarzenegger campaign quipped with, “We always said Davis was nuts; this should prove it.” But it was obvious they don't care for the Big Ball method in chossing the next Governor.
“We're not going to let this gubernatorial election be determined by simple, non-relevant methods. We demand the California Governor be selected in the traditional American way…name recognition.”
