Even as scientists observe the birds for signs of sickness, the birds are geting a good look at what may be their dinner.
Lancaster, Ca.- When humans get the flu they often turn to good old chicken soup to find relief, but to date there has been little to offer birds to alleviate their suffering. As you are probably aware, a bird flu epidemic is in full swing and has killed millions and continues to kill millions of our feathered friends. Scientists have been experimenting with vaccines and medicines to help treat and prevent bird flu, but so far nothing looks promising.
One local veterinary research company, however, has found success with a very unusual yet at the same time logical remedy- human noodle soup. Dr. Kazslo Kovacs of the Lancaster based Avian Solutions has been doing research with the soup for several months now and is excited about the results.
“At first the chickens didn’t like the soup, a lot of them were throwing up, but then I started experimenting with different spices, vegetables, and different parts and I found a concoction that the majority seem to enjoy. They are like children sometimes; not all kids like the same thing, but most will eat pizza.” Kovacs will soon be submitting an article to the journal Bird Malady that documents the success of his treatment.
Kovacs wants to produce the soup on a mass scale, but he is now having a difficult time finding humans or human parts for his human noodle soup. He apparently has been getting his human meat from a variety of sources- funeral homes, family planning clinics, employees at Avian Solutions, and several foreign companies- but he is now finding it difficult to get his meat needs met and the local police are starting to cause problems.
Kovacs, however, is not worried and feels that the people that are disturbed by the soup will eventually come around, “Someday people will realize the seriousness of this situation.
I have the cure to a disease that could wipe out the world and people want to worry about ethics and morals? If I am forbidden to take this to market by a few “dogooder” types then they can answer to the people when they ask why more wasn’t done.”
