In perhaps the boldest and most cunning marketing idea since "New Coke", Frito Lay has come out with a five-foot long Frito's corn chip that is literally flying off the shelves.
Steve Wolonker, manager of the Pick & Save grocery chain in the Midwest, said that the second the stockboys hauled the chip onto a shelf, they'd have to get another one, as the five-foot chip would fall off the three-foot shelf and break.
Frito women like 'em big and covered with dip. Much-a-bunch of Fritos today!
"It's a friggin' grocery nightmare", Wolonker said. "Whomever is responsible for creating this five foot pile of shit ought to be shot".
Mismanagement of the snack is perhaps its biggest downfall. A single, five-foot chip successfully loaded in a mini-van by the consumer intact doesn't guarantee it won't be broken to pieces during the drive home. Frito Lay's return policy clearly states "if you are unhappy in any way whatsoever with our product, you may return the item within three days for a complete refund".
Wolonker claims he's sold over 400 of the chips and had over 500 returns. "Not sure what happened there, but I know we lost money".
Kyle Van Doren, Midwest manager of Frito Lay Corp., says it's much ado about nothing.
"What's the problem here? Of COURSE the chip is going to break. People can't eat a frickin' five foot long corn chip! The thing is ten inches thick for godsakes. They're going to have to break it into bits anyway, so get off our face."
The number one question on the minds of the consumer and the retailer is, "Why have a five-foot Frito to begin with?"
Van Doren sums it up. "Why not? I mean, I admit the idea is pretty fucking stupid, but what about "Beer Nuts"? They're peanuts with an annoying coating that gets caught in your teeth when you're at a bar. Why not pick on the "Beer Nut" guys and leave the Frito guys alone, okay?"
