Burro Supremo - If you demand a work-horse grade plan but don't mind the stubbornness of working with a jackass, you've found your provider. For thousands of dollars up front, you can have unlimited 24-hour access with the strength, speed and reliability you've come to know from your common barnyard mule. Hey, he cost a fortune and he never gives 100%, but he's hung like a donkey and the envy of all your neighbors.
Planno de la Chicklet - If you need only limited and plan to chew that little bit of it to a useless nub, consider the Chicklet plan. This plan is sold exclusively by filthy children wandering the streets of Mexico's biggest cities, preying on tourists, locals and other children alike. The mark up is tremendous, but the value is not, and almost all the profit goes straight into the hands of children(s drunken parents).
Mija Barter - Two months service? You say three, we say one, you're trying to rob me, to starve my children. Okay, I'll give you two months service for that price... Sound familiar? It should, it's the barter strategy of the Mexi-merchant in it's finest form. T-shirts and supposed silver jewelry have sold swimmingly this way for decades, why should internet service be so different? We aren't out to trick anyone, just to speak the language of the land, so call one of our representatives today and find out what price you can haggle your way in to.
Tijuana Itch - Forget for a moment about the wealth of filthy children Mexico has always been known for, if you are in need of limited internet service and can't be troubled to sneak across your northern border to get it, consider instead the Tijuana Itch plan. Much like the Tijuana itch itself, you can get connected for as little as five dollars per encounter, with an array of services available for negotiation each time.
* Pricing not yet available, but provide your credit card and we'll be happy to bill some guy's visa living in San Diego once the service is available and deemed reliable. Come on, you've got a visa from a dude in San Diego, don't you?
